Never
by AndAllThatMishigas
Summary: Post-episode for Life on Mars (s4ep21). When Hoynes reveals his affair, Jed has to talk to Abbey about a related issue.


Author's note: My dear friend Sarah requested this story and I'm going to be mad forever at her for making me feel all these emotions.

 **Never**

Abbey answered the phone in the Residence, instantly annoyed. "Yeah?" She knew it would be Jed. No one else would call up to her at ten at night.

"Hey, I'm gonna be down here for a while longer," he informed her, too distracted to insert any pleasantries.

She didn't like the tone of his voice. "Situation Room?" she asked, trying not to be worried.

"No, just some internal stuff. Don't wait up."

She gave a soft smile. It had been many years since she stayed up waiting for him as a default. He never asked her to wait, but sometimes she did when she knew he needed her. Right now, however, she couldn't tell if he needed her for this or not. "Do you want me to come sit with you?" Sometimes when he was up late on non-classified calls or reading briefing materials, she'd read on the couch in the Oval Office, just to give him some company. And truth be told, she did enjoy just being near him. They were both far too busy in recent years.

"No, that's okay. I gotta talk to Leo and Josh about some stuff. I'll tell you about it later."

"I thought you didn't want me to wait up."

Jed paused on the line for a moment, thinking. "Actually, yeah, can you stay up a little while? We should talk about this."

Now Abbey was properly worried. "Honey, what is it?"

He sighed into the phone. "John Hoynes had an affair. He wants to resign."

Abbey's first reaction was not one of surprise. John Hoynes was a snake of a man, and this behavior was not out of the realm of possibilities. But why Jed should want to talk to her about it was puzzling. "You and the boys are gonna put together a list of replacements?"

"We're gonna try. Figure out how to announce it. Same as any other cabinet vacancy."

She nodded. "Okay. Don't be too late. I need to be up in the morning."

"Yeah," he replied. Jed hung up the phone and returned his attention to his Chief of Staff. He'd worry about Abbey later. Right now, he had work to do.

Abbey sat on the sofa in the sitting room of the Residence. Why did he need to talk to her about Hoynes? Presumably he had an idea of who to name as Vice-President, and maybe that had something to do with Abbey? She knew he'd tell her who they had decided on, but something like this wasn't really something she felt like she needed to be consulted on. This was a political choice that had little relation to the First Lady, or to things that Jed and Abbey usually would decide together. This didn't affect their family. Unless it did. Were they thinking about someone that would upset Abbey? Or have some kind of impact on their family? She couldn't imagine who could possibly fit that bill.

Abbey stood up and decided to get ready for bed. She could sit and read in bed while she waited for Jed. She changed into her pajamas and looked at herself in the mirror as she brushed her teeth. She sighed. So many lines on her face. Evidence of the unbelievable life she had lived. She was a few years shy of sixty years old. Three children, two grandchildren, college and medical school, two board certifications, First Lady of the United States, years and years of depression and tears, joy and laughter. It had been an incredible life, but no walk in the park. It was definitely starting to show. Jed liked to tease her about getting older, but she would just elbow him as she laughed. She loved him so much. She always had and always would. She just wished, in recent times especially, that there was more she could do for him.

A terrible realization hit her like a speeding train. What if Jed needed to talk to her because of Hoynes's infidelity? What if it meant more than just that? What if there was something else?

Abbey shook her head. No. Jed would _never_ cheat on her. She knew how much he loved her and how much he valued their marriage and their family. He had never once given her any reason to distrust him. There was never a more loyal husband in all the world.

But the thought nagged at her mind. What could Jed possibly want to talk to her about?

She forced herself to become immersed in the book she was reading. Abbey got comfortable in bed, lying on her stomach and propping herself up by her elbows.

It must have been at least an hour before the double doors to the bedroom finally opened. Jed walked in looking extremely stressed. Abbey sat up and moved the covers aside to get out of bed to greet him.

"No, stay there," he instructed. He sat at the end of the bed, faced away from her.

"Jed?"

"I can't face you when I do this." His voice started to crack.

Few things in life had ever scared Abbey like those words in that tone. She felt sick. "Alright," she replied quietly, silently praying that her worst fears weren't about to be realized.

"I never wanted you to have to know. I never wanted to think about it ever again. But with the news of Hoynes about to break, someone might find out. And you should hear it from me."

Abbey's heart was racing. Her stomach was in a tight knot. "Jed, what is it?"

"I spend the night with another woman."

She didn't know what to say. The very idea was so unthinkable.

Jed turned to look at her. Her silence wasn't unexpected, but he needed some hint of what to do next. "Abbey?" he said softly. Her face was unreadable.

"When?" she asked. Her voice was a harsh whisper.

"Back when I was in Congress. During my first term. I was working those long days and nights and staying in D.C. more often because I was still learning the ropes."

Abbey swallowed hard, trying to get her head to stop spinning. "Who was she?" she mumbled.

"What was that?" he asked.

"Who was she?" Abbey repeated, this time more forcefully. She was starting to fall apart. Everything was falling apart.

"A researcher in the Whip's office. She was working with me on a bill proposal and we didn't finish it until after two in the morning and I ended up going home with her."

There was nothing Abbey could do to control the tears. She wasn't necessarily crying, but the tears flowed freely down her cheeks. As she tried to understand what he was saying to her, she thought back to his first term in Congress. Zoey was three when he first got elected. Liz hadn't gotten pregnant until a few years after that. They'd had problems in their marriage over the years, but they had been so good back then. There hadn't been anything wrong then. When they'd had all those problems in London or during Abbey's surgical internship when she was gone for days at a time, that would have almost been understandable. But there was absolutely nothing Abbey could think of that could have explained infidelity during that time.

"Honey, talk to me please," he begged. She had been silently staring at the wall as her tears landed on the book open in her lap.

Her sad green eyes snapped into focus, zeroing in on his face. "Why?"

He took a shaky deep breath. "I don't know. There's no reason. I can't explain it. I guess I was overworked. I missed you. I was far away for too long."

"So you just forgot about me? About your family and your vows? The ring on your finger or your phone calls to your wife and daughters every day weren't reminder enough?" Her voice was getting louder but lacked strength. Her words came out as screeches, dripping with the most visceral pain imaginable.

"No, never!" he insisted. "I don't even know what was going through my head. There is no excuse. I love you more than anything, Abbey, you and our girls. I never wanted to betray you like that."

She could hear the hurt in his voice. She could see it in his face. Abbey took a deep breath to calm herself. Every cell in her body felt like it was vibrating, threatening to break her apart. "Go get ready for bed. We both have early mornings. We can talk about this tomorrow."

He frowned. His blue eyes, usually sparkling with joy and determination, were dulled by the shine of unshed tears of his own. "You sure?"

"I can't do this right now. I'm going to bed," she responded definitively. Thankfully, she sounded more sure than she really was. More than anything else, she just couldn't stand to look at him anymore.

Jed watched her for a moment before standing up and going into the bathroom. By the time he emerged, Abbey had turned out her light. She was turned away from his side of the bed. He didn't disturb her as he got under the covers.

Abbey was awakened the next morning by Jed's arm snaking around her body, resting gently on her stomach. He nuzzled her neck and pressed soft kisses in her hair. Memories from the night before flooded her body. She elbowed him in the chest. "Don't you touch me!" she snapped.

He backed away. "Ow! Abbey, are you okay?" he asked.

She turned to face him. "Of course I'm not okay! Just because I let you get into bed with me last night doesn't mean I've come even close to forgiving you!" she shouted, sitting up in bed.

Jed looked at her with bewilderment. "What are you talking about? Honey, you were asleep when I came in last night. I had to put your glasses and your book on the side table and turn out the light for you."

"No you didn't! Don't you dare play dumb with me, Jed. Not about this. This isn't funny."

"What isn't?"

"YOU CHEATED ON ME!" she bellowed. Tears pricked at her eyes, but she blinked them away. She wouldn't do that this time. She was still hurt, but now she was going to be angry as well.

Jed just gaped at her. "Since when!? Abbey, I have no idea what you're talking about. I have _never_ cheated on you and I never would. Just because John Hoynes is a despicable man doesn't mean I am." He held up his left hand, where his wedding ring sat untouched for nearly forty years. "This is all I need to keep me from being like him. Because this means everything to me. _You_ mean everything to me."

Now it was Abbey's turn to be confused. She shook her head and ran a hand through her hair. "You sat right there and told me you slept with some researcher when you were in Congress," she said, pointing to the edge of the bed.

"I swear that I never slept with a researcher when I was in Congress or any other time. And I know I didn't tell you anything like that last night. I think you might have dreamt it," he suggested.

"You called me around ten, saying you'd be a while. Because Hoynes had an affair and wanted to resign. And you said you wanted me to wait up because you had something to tell me," she recalled.

He nodded. "Yeah. But you were asleep when I got up here. I didn't tell you anything last night. Except when I kissed you goodnight and told you I love you."

The knots in Abbey's stomach were starting to loosen. "What did you want to tell me last night?"

"Oh, it wasn't really that important. It was just hard to hear. I know neither of us really like John, but we spent all that time with him and Suzanne on the campaign. I just…" He trailed off.

Abbey gave her first smile in recent memory. "You just wanted to reassure me that nothing like my apparent dream ever happened." She dropped her face into her hands. "Oh god, I feel so stupid." She looked up at him again. "I'm so sorry, Jed."

He scooted over to her side of the bed but paused. "Can I touch you now?" She nodded and leaned into his embrace. He held her tight. "Abigail, you were the first woman I ever slept with, and you are the only woman I will ever sleep with. You are the love of my life. Everything I am and everything I have is because I've been lucky enough to love you. To betray you like that would be like cutting off my own arm. I couldn't do it."

"It's never even crossed your mind?"

"Nope. You really did ruin me for other women, babe. Every time I think of sex in any way, shape, or form, you are all I associate with it. You and you alone."

"And my wet hair."

He chuckled, shaking her as she rested against his chest. "Yeah, that too." He pressed a reverent kiss to the top of her head. "Seriously, Abbey. I would _never_ cheat on you. I really hope you know that."

She pulled away from him slightly so she could look into his eyes. She brushed her fingers on his cheek. "I do know. I trust you without question. Besides, what did Leo call us? A love for the ages? That comes with more than just love. That's trust. We're a team. Our relationship changed both our lives. We're the Bartlets." She smiled. Her nose wrinkled when she smiled joyfully like that.

Jed leaned in and kissed her, lingering so she'd feel what he was trying to say. She broke away and nodded. She knew. She always knew. She never had doubted him, and she never would.


End file.
